When a new President is elected into office, he doesn't take over right away. There are a few months when the previous president is still in office, but he just hangs out and kicks it until it's time to be cremated. The media has given the term "Lame Duck" to this presidential position. Most recently, Obama was the new president elected into office and Bush was the Lame Duck who was eventually cremated.


I'll come back to the Lame Duck thing later... Yesterday Billy "The Merman" Allen sat me down in the hot tub after practice and tried to drown me. He foolishly believed that because he can breathe underwater that he'd be able to hold me under for aslong as it took. Well, news flash Merman, they don't call me Donkey for nothing.

Donkeys are great swimmers and I escaped the grasp of his Merman tail with the utmost of ease. Also, I could stand up in the hot tub.
After the hot tub incident I asked him why he tried to drown me. He responded, "Matt Fuerbringer asked me to play with him in the last few tournaments of the season and I couldn't turn him down. I knew that you would be really hurt if I dumped you so I tried to drown you instead." Hearing that made me feel a lot better about the situation. Billy actually cared so much about my feelings, he tried to murder me. How could I be mad? I said the first thing that came to mind... "If you eat a live frog in the morning, nothing worse will happen to either of you for the rest of the day." I just hope he took the time to truly find the inner meaning of my advice.
Despite my kind-hearted mood yesterday, today I found myself sitting on my couch, blinds drawn with a box of Aloe Kleenex, eating rainbow sherbert (Billy's favorite) out of the box, listening to my Kelly Clarkson and Avril Lavigne mix tape, and watching game film of Billy and I playing Mayer/Nygard in Hermosa. I'm not proud of my actions... (like I have any control over what I do). But it got me thinking... "Yo B-Blog, you still have one more tournament to play with Billy this weekend in San Francisco."

Let's go full circle... Billy has elected a new partner (Matt Fuerbringer). But I am still his partner for another 4 days. Does that make me a Lame Duck partner? Am I like George W. and is Fuerby like Barack? Does the AVP cremate players? Shit...
Don't get me wrong. I am stoked for Billy. He has worked very hard to put himself into a position to get picked up by a player as good as Matt Fuerbringer. Plus, I am a big boy. I can find a new partner. I will be fine for the Muskegon and Chicago events. I can't wait. It's fun to mix it up and play with different players sometimes. The only real issue I have is that I am basically S. out of L. for the Cincinnati event (Less teams, more money per player). To get into that tourney, the AVP will take the best 10 finishes from each TEAM throughout the season. 16 teams make it into the event. It doesn't matter who I play with, I can't get in because I haven't been playing with that person for at least 10 events. You might ask, what about Billy and Matt? Well, they will get the wild card into the tournament.
Fortunately, I believe Billy and I have come to an agreement that we both can appreciate. Either Billy dumps Fuerbringer before Chicago, but after they sign up for Chicago (That way Fuerby can blog about his own experience as a Lame Duck), or Billy makes me the best man in his wedding in November. We have agreed that the outcome of the poll to the right will be the ultimate decider. So, my friends, the choice is yours...

This could be a win win situation for you. Billy dumps Fuerbringer before Chicago, that way you can play. Then you beach the merman until he almost dies and has no other choice but to agree to you as his bestman. As for a new partner, if you are looking for someone with a body of a god and catlike reflexess....call Sean. Meanwhile, I will be sitting behind my desk watching my stomach get bigger. Good luck in San Francisco.
ReplyDeleteJack
Braidy, you are not thinking clearly. The obvious solution is:
ReplyDelete1. Abduct Fuerby prior to Cincinnati.
2. Cryogenically freeze Fuerby until after the tournament so that Billy will be forced to play with you at Cincinnati. After all, Fuerby's a nice guy, you really don't want to hurt him.
3. As an apology, donate $20 to the charity of Fuerby's choice.
It's really a win-win. You get to play with Billy at Cincinnati, and Fuerby gets a nice nap. Works for everyone.
The most important issue I must talk about first is; I to love rainbow sherbet ice cream, LOL.
ReplyDeleteFor what reason is Matt looking for a new partner? Is Casey hurt? Is he shutting it down for the remainder of the year? Anyhow, I think all of us have been a lame duck at some point of our lives. Who will you play with?
I comment because I like to write, and speak my mind. I will share from the fan's point of view (like I said been one since 1972) for the most part.
When tragedy strikes, one must blog it out.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I am taking time out of my busy and productive evening to comment on this sorry excuse for a blog. But I feel I must defend myself as any Mer-person should from the insidious libel of land mammals.
ReplyDeleteYes - I attempted to murder Braidy in a hot tub. It was to spare his feelings and please everyone who has ever read his blog.
Yes - I dumped Braidy...again. Will I come crawling back telling him I made a mistake and begging him to play with me after two tournaments like I did last time? Probably.
Yes - Braidy and I will probably play together at some future time, like when I beat him in the Pismo KOB.
Yes - Braidy and I are still going to win the San Francisco AVP.
No - Rainbow Sherbert is not my favorite ice cream.
No - The tournament will not be awkward. We never speak a word to each other anyway. (Except I sometimes call "Sorry" after I set.)
No - I don't have enough friends to fill out a single groomsman let alone a "Best Man."
No - I did not eat a live frog this morning and nothing bad has yet happe- *
(*Note: Comment ends suddenly)
Brady,
ReplyDeleteI watched your last game in Hermosa. I thought you played much better out of the two of you. Yes you made some mistakes at the end of game 2, but I thought Billy made a few throughout the match. I'm sure you'll be able to pick up a good defending left sider no problem. You guys had that team beat in game 2 and had the momentum to win game 3. Its probably good though that you quit playing together now that you are so close to beating a top team. Good thinking.
No horse shit Jack? No horse shit Wang.
ReplyDeleteIS all of that for real? I didn't even know Jennings was out for the rest of the year? I feel so let down by my own insider juice, and I'm the one who's producing it. I thought he was just playing one with Reid. Who knew Allen was replacing the almighty angry one? So, are we doing this or what? You ready to play left side, and deliver? Text me...
Braidy, that mean I can pick you up to play jungle ball?
ReplyDeleteI completely agree......There is nothing like a good Avril/Kelly C session to help me pick up my spirts.
ReplyDeleteAt least you still have all your teeth.
I love all the comments. I am going to respond to all of them without taking a breath.
ReplyDeleteI should beach Billy and cryogenically freeze Fuerbs, but I don't know why he's not playing with casey. Blog it out you say? There is no way you are beating me in the Pismo KOB because I agree, billy is awful. Saddle up Hans, right after I smash some balls with Doc in Dallas. Gotta brush 'em.
I actually did a little research to validate your statement that donkeys are great swimmers. You are correct; they can swim in lakes and rivers. However, I learned that a lot of donkeys have drowned in swimming pools. The prevailing belief is that the ladders are a barrier for accessibility and egress. So, I think it was a lucky thing you were in the hot tub and not the pool.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jack Shafer for the wonderful drawing.
ReplyDeleteI do what I can.
ReplyDeleteI think u should call Sean/Kev, they would lend their Taylor Swift CD(s). It will help you lift your spirit.
ReplyDeleteSo, now what? Looks like you guys are better together than with other partners! Go Rock!
ReplyDeleteForget Avril Lavigne & Kelly Clarkson, Miley Cyrus is where it's at... You could also throw in some My Chemical Romance and Hawthorne Heights.
ReplyDeleteFor the record I asked but Braidy wouldn't play with me in Cinci. Crap, Does that mean I have to make him my best man?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ihatebraidy.blogspot.com/
ReplyDeleteHow 'bout a new blog post teacher guy? Seriously, it's been like 6 months. That's one half of an entire year, I'm almost certain. I know you've got some new content in there somewhere. Hell, you could even talk about you and Mr. Allen reuniting, and you just wearing it. That would be a good start...
ReplyDeleteI agree with Hans.
ReplyDelete