My current partner, Billy Allen, being the pro-elephant that he is, decided to do some research on the topic and take it to another level. What he stumbled upon may just be the nail-in-the-coffin for all you pro-eaglians out there. In Billy's original doctrine, he believed that the elephant would simply outlive the eagle. (Elephants can live to be about 70 while eagles may live to be about 40 if they're not shot out of the sky by poachers.) Now it's hard to say what he believes anymore. Here are his legit research results found in the internet...
Eagles, believe it or not, have the capability of doubling there life-span through a process called leucocophalus regeneration, a.k.a. debeaking. During leucocophalus regeneration, an eagle will repeatedly fly nose-first into rocks until it successfully removes it's beak. Once the beak is gone it takes about 8 months to regenerate a new one. The eagle then uses the new beak to pluck out all of it's old feathers. When, and if, new feathers grow back, the eagle has successfully completed leucocophalus regeneration and has just added an extra 30 years to it's lifespan. The elephant and the debeaked eagle now both live to be 70 years old.
At this point, who's to say that the elephant will outlast the eagle or the eagle will outlast the elephant? Until we put the two in a cage and let them literally battle to the death, we will have to rely on this blog poll.
Oh, one more thing... The AVP and Paul Mitchell Hair Products have put together a contest online to find out who is the Hot Shot Pro Beach Volleyball Player. They have selected me and 7 other guys for the contest. The winner gets a nice sponsorship package from Paul Mitchell. You can vote as many times as you want and I encourage you to check it out and vote for me everyday, 1000 time a day, until the end of the season. The link is http://www.avp.com/Paul-Mitchell/Home.aspx
Also, keep an eye out for my next blog. I am going to explain exactly how to beat Phil Dalhauser and Todd Rogers, the olympic gold medalists.
6 comments:
I'd vote for you but your too ugly.... "YOU Ugly"
Just kidding!! I voted for you twice! =)
Billy, I admire your willingness to research this topic and attempt to answer the question logically. It is much more than I can say for some of the mindless debaters I have run across in support of the larger beast. Unfortunately, your answer is based solely on observations that man has made about normal elephants and eagles living daily life. This question, however, pertains to a "battle to the death," not a "life to the death," if you will. We can debate the ins and outs, and strengths and weaknesses of each animal until the cows come home. In the end, we will all simply be left empty-minded and upset after an intensely heated game of prisoner. Logic will not give us an answer. Reason will not give us an answer. This issue will not be put to rest until the day comes when one passionate elephant and one driven eagle, young and strong, yet wise beyond their years, come to battle for something so valuable that they would be willing to risk their own life, and be willing to take another's... Godspeed.
This comes from a man who truly understands passion. When he's passionate about something, he pours his heart and soul into it. I.e., he didn't just play Neil Diamond on the keyboard and sing the lyrics... He WAS Neil Diamond!
Well Sean, I did in fact consider them battling to the death, a battle I think that will be won by attrition, since neither will be able to gain much ground, in which case the ability to outlive your opponent will matter greatly.
Besides the elephant can use his trunk as a bazooka and will shoot the eagle down from the sky and then sit on it. End of fight.
To make it even easier Braidy said in a cage! No contest when the eagle can't fly off and hide! Change your vote Eagleites.
The Cage makes the quesion non-sensical. Lets put them on a savanah. This is what I see happening:
Eagle flies around till it sees an opening, dives down, scratches the elephant's back with its talons, then flies away. The elephant would unsuccessfully try to swat the eagle with its trunk.
Repeat this a few hundred (thousand?) times. Either the eagle will gorge a huge hole in the elehpant's back, or the elephant's wound will be come infected by the African enviornment. Either way, the elephant dies and the eagle wins.
There is a minimal chance that the elephant would land one crushing trunk blow to the eagle, but I'd bet against it.
ll take my chances
To quote Danny Kinda, "Who won? Who won? WHO WON!!!!!?"
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